A Practice for Releasing Financial Regret: Honoring the Past, Choosing Forward
A simple ritual for grieving past money decisions and moving into new patterns
As we've been exploring our relationship with money and the parts that drive our financial decisions, many of you have shared that looking back at past purchases brings up regret and shame.
I was looking through my closet last week, and there it was: a dress I bought two years ago, tags still on. Expensive. Beautiful. Never worn.
Standing there holding it, I felt that familiar pang. "Why did I buy this? What was I thinking?"
But then I remembered what we've been discussing about money parts. I got curious: What part of me made that purchase? What was she hoping for?
I remembered: I had just ended a difficult work situation and was feeling uncertain about my worth. The part of me that bought this dress was trying to remind me that I was valuable, that I deserved beautiful things.
She wasn't wrong to want those things. She just chose a strategy that didn't actually meet the deeper need.
When Awareness Brings Regret
As we start examining our money patterns more consciously, many of us discover a trail of purchases that make us cringe (I definitively discovered those!).
The impulse buys gathering dust. The subscriptions we forgot to cancel. The times we said yes to financial requests we couldn't really afford.
What if we could look at these past decisions with the same compassion we've been bringing to our money parts? What if these "mistakes" could become doorways to deeper understanding?
A Simple Practice for Financial Forgiveness
Gather any physical reminders of financial decisions you regret - items you purchased but don't use, receipts, or notes about choices you wish you'd made differently.
For each item, ask:
What part of me made this choice?
What was this part hoping for?
How was this part trying to take care of me?
Acknowledge that part: "Thank you for trying to help me feel better/safer/worthy. Thank you for caring about my needs."
Let this part know: "I see what you were trying to do. I'm learning new ways to meet these needs now."
If it feels right, physically release the items. Donate clothes you don't wear. Cancel unused subscriptions. This isn't punishment but making space for new choices.
End with appreciation: "Thank you for all the ways you've tried to protect and care for me. I commit to listening to you more carefully and working with you to find ways that actually serve our life now."
Moving from Shame to Wisdom
The dress in my closet?
I donated it to someone who will love it. It felt like honoring both the part that bought it (she did want something beautiful) and my current life.
Not every financial regret can be transformed so neatly. But all of them can be met with kindness and compassion that allows us to choose differently going forward.
What financial regrets are you ready to meet with compassion?
And what might become possible when you approach your money parts as allies rather than obstacles?
In gratitude,
Anna
Transformational IFS Coach @ www.annamilaeva.com & Co-founder @ www.fino.website - Incubator for Self-leadership.